Thursday, June 23, 2016

Are you a Stallion or a Work Horse?


Stallions are very exciting horses - they're spiriteddifficult to handle - and a little dangerous.  And that's what makes them so attractive!  They are the Alpha of horses!

All male horses have the potential to become stallions, but most don't realise it because they've never been taught to see themselves in that way. 
So they settle for a much lower position within the herd... which is good news for the other male horses, because they don't really want more stallions around. 

Why don't they want more strong capable horses in the group?... You'd think it would be good for the overall survival of the herd!

Well that might be true, but stallions reduce the social status of the other horses, which makes them less attractive to the female horses in the herd.

In short, it limits their breeding potential, and the natural urge to pass on their own genetic make-up! 

Consequently, your average horse is never going to fully support another male horse who is striving to achieve his natural potential to be a stallion. Remember that!

Interestingly, when a woman is looking to invest in a horse for the family home, it's often the ordinary work horse that gets chosen. Why?  Because a work horse is much easier to control, and more predictable.

In short, a work horse can get the chores done and perform the necessary breeding, even though it's not an exciting animal to own or ride.

Sometimes, women who own a work horse actually make sure that he never looks attractive to other riders... just in case he starts to become aware of his actual potential. It's much safer to keep him looking unattractive and unaware!


That's a shame really, because a woman who rides a stallion has a much higher status within her social group. Why?  Because it shows that she's got what it takes to keep a stallion.... and that makes her more of an Alpha

More importantly, a stallion who is free to be what Nature intended him to be is healthier both mentally and physically... and he will have developed the strength and spirit he needs to rise-up and protect the herd when it's necessary. 

That's an important survival trait, and not something that the average work horse can do very easily... which is why stallions are respected and admired.

So which are you, a stallion, or a work horse who hasn't yet realised his full and natural potential?


Either way, you can always improve your situation. How?  First by understanding that your role is to be a strong protector-provider.  In spite of any social trends to the contrary, at a primal level you are expected to be masculine, and express masculine strengths and virtues.

Next, understand that in order to achieve that you need to always look masculine, sound masculine, and move in a masculine way.

In other words : dress simple, strong, and functional ; talk in an honest and respectful way to others, but be true to yourself and what you believe ; and walk with a calm relaxed confidence!

Finally, don't ask for anyone's permission... just express your stallion nature... its a beautiful thing!


It's a Primal Thing.

Monday, May 30, 2016

Always be Authentic - It's an Alpha Thing!

 

Strength of character is an Alpha trait… and it’s naturally expressed in the way a man dresses. In the photo of American actor Channing Tatum above, he’s looking strong in a fresh white under-shirt, a grey woollen cardigan with a roll-collar, and a blue woolen coat. 

Those items are all classic pieces that could be worn with either chinos or jeans to create a stylish casual look… perfect for a movie or a coffee-date on a cold night. 

But instead they’ve been put together with faded grungy looking jeans that have holes in one knee… and brown lace-up boots that have an old military look.  And that creates a very different statement about who he is, or who he’s supposed to be!  I'll explain why....


If the average guy on the street was to wear those jeans he would be sending the message that he’s someone who works with his hands… maybe a labourer or a tradesman… or maybe he rides a bike.  But if he’s none of those things, then he’s a not being authentic… he’s not being honest.

Or maybe he's wearing jeans like that to be trendy. Or maybe he saw a famous movie star wearing them on the cover of a magazine, and thought they looked cool.  But if they aren’t an expression of who he really is, then he’s not being honest with himself… nor with the women he hopes to attract.

But this approach to fashion is quite common these days.  A lot of guys dress to put an exaggerated ‘spin’ on how they look… and below are two examples I see quite often at my local shopping centre :

The Sportsman :  He wears the latest brightly coloured runners, baggy sports shorts, and a famous brand-name t-shirt, or maybe even a martial arts or MMA t-shirt.  Sometimes he'll wear a cap (backwards), as well as sunglasses pushed up onto the cap.

The way he dresses says I like to see myself as an active sporty kind of guy.  And I’d like you to see me that way too!  But right now I’m not doing sports, I’m buying groceries in an air-conditioned shopping centre... and then I'm going home.”

The Outdoorsman :  This guy wears trekking shoes, cargo pants or shorts that have lots of pockets, and a t-shirt with either a trekking or climbing motif on the front. 

The way he dresses says I like to see myself as a rugged outdoorsy kind of guy… and I’d like you to see me that way too!  But right now I’m not trekking through the wilderness, I’m buying groceries in an air-conditioned shopping centre... and then I'm going home.”

The simple difference between being authentic and putting a ‘spin’ on how you dress is honesty.  

If an Alpha is wearing a cap, it’s because he’s outside. And if he’s wearing runners, it’s because he’s running.  If he’s wearing sports gear, it’s because he’s off to the gym or the sports field. 

But if he’s shopping for groceries, then he’s not going to be dressed for sports or the outdoors, he's going to be dressed simple, strong and functional in something like this :
  • a fitted t-shirt or shirt in a dark or solid colour
  • jeans, chinos, or shorts that fit well in the crotch and arse
  • leather footwear and a leather belt (avoid wearing runners).

Consequently, any woman he meets is going to be impressed by his masculine Alpha Styling, and his honesty.  He’s not trying to a ‘spin’ on who he really is… he’s showing everyone exactly who he is. That’s called being ‘authentic’.....


Finally, above is an example of a man being honest in his expression of Alpha Styling.  It’s the actor Mark Wahlberg from the movie “Daddy’s Home”.  He’s looking rugged in a weathered motorcycle jacket, a black t-shirt, fitted jeans, and a leather belt that screams ‘classic bike’.  And that’s an authentic look, because in the movie he’s a dad who rides an Indian motorcycle

In short - what you see is what you get.  And what you see is a man who looks manly, tough, and a little dangerous… which is both attractive and exciting to most women.

It's a Primal Thing.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

French College of Seduction - It's a Primal Thing!


Here’s some make-over advice for men from Veronique Juliene of Ecole Francaise de Seduction - French College of Seduction (photo above) :
  • At a primal level men are hunters who must prove themselves… and that includes making the first move by hunting and seducing women
  • Women notice men’s shoes, hoping to see something interesting… but many men miss this point and wear practical shoes that are boring
  • Men should have a manly haircut, and not look untidy or feminine... so ignore fashion trends that don't look manly
  • A man's clothes should fit well, and he should have a good suit
  • And always walk upright in a relaxed and confident way.
Footnote : Many men become lazy about their appearance once they’re in a relationship or get married… and yet after a while they complain that their partner has “Let herself go!” 

Well it goes both ways. If you want your partner to continue to find you sexually attractive, you can’t afford to ignore these basic points of seduction.

Remember that sexual attraction is not a choice, it's a hard-wired response to psychological triggers... which include how you look, walk and talk.


Finally, if your partner ever resists you dressing to look your best, keep in mind that looking attractive to other women actually lifts your partner's social status... because it highlights that she's got what it takes to attract-and-keep an Alpha male!

It's a Primal Thing.


Saturday, May 14, 2016

Why Doesn't She Like Me? - I'm a Nice guy!


It’s not uncommon for men to think that being Nice is something that will make them sexually attractive to a woman.  Most often this stems from childhood, when a well behaved little boy was rewarded with affection from the females in his family.

However the concept of 'Nice = Sex' doesn’t translate to The Mating Game… when an adult woman is looking for an adult man to start a relationship with, and potentially have a family together.

Remember that sexual attraction is not a choice... it's a hard-wired response to psychological triggers (behaviours)... which include how you dress, how you walk, and how you talk.

So when you talk about yourself, you need to come across as being :
  • someone who knows their direction in life – or at least their direction right now
  • that you believe what you’re doing is worthwhile – which shows confidence and character
  • and that you’re aware of your strengths and weaknesses - so you’re not looking for anyone’s approval

And if you combine that conversation with your own expression of Alpha Styling, you’ll create a positive psychological impression everywhere you go. And that's going to increase the number of women you attract.

Just keep in mind that you’re not going to be the ideal partner for everyone that you find attractive. So try not to take it too personally when you’re interested in someone who just isn’t interested in you.

Quite often it can simply be a matter of body chemistry… the wrong mix of pheromones (smells) that transmit your genetic make-up.  And there’s nothing you can do about that kind of message! 

Remember we humans are generally attracted to a mate with different genetic traits to ours, simply because the mix will give our children a greater chance of survival in life.  And no amount of niceness, or money, or good looks is going to make up for that primal instinct.  


It's a Primal Thing.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Maximise your Masculinity - It's as Easy as 1,2,3


The photo above is of Scott Schuman, the famous fashion photographer known as The Satorialist.

Although Scott photographs quirky and individualised street fashion, he doesn't necessarily follow the trends.  Instead, he chooses classic pieces and dresses like most of the top male fashion designers do - with Alpha Styling :
  1. avoid anything with excess decoration
  2. wear form-fitting clothes that highlight your masculine features
  3. and base your wardrobe on dark and solid colours, because they look the strongest.



Saturday, May 7, 2016

Primal Dating Guidelines & The Reasons Why



Men are hard-wired to be attracted to young, fit, beautiful women… and it’s an attraction that doesn’t diminish with age. Why not?  Because history has shown that a woman who is young and physically fit has the best chance of surviving the rigors of pregnancy and child-birth.

In short, being young and fit are survival traits... and therefore high-value mating currencies!

'Beauty' is another high-value currency, because human beings like beautiful things. We like to own beautiful things, or be are beautiful people. Consequently, a woman who is beautiful in some way will usually receive preferential treatment from the other members of their tribe (or social group).

So young, fit, sexy women who are beautiful are considered to be very desirable… simply because they exhibit high-value currencies that have proved to be advantageous in life.

Although young female Athletes should be the perfect example of this concept, thin young women have become the accepted ideal in many countries around the world these days… and Victoria Secret models would be just one example (see photo above).

Not surprisingly, Alpha females like fashion models are naturally attracted to Alpha males… men who exhibit the masculine high-value currencies. But that doesn't include just being a 'nice guy.'

So with that in mind, let's move on to the two factors that influence our dating behaviours and our preferences : primal hard-wiring ; and the psychological influences from our upbringing.

Here’s a breakdown of what that means :
  • Young women will naturally be attracted to men of a similar age, and generally from the same race or religion... simply because they share the same experiences, and the same beliefs and social values.
  • However the average adult male can expect to be attractive to a woman 5-to-10 years his junior, especially if he has an established career / trade / or job... because that falls under the primal role of the man being the protector / provider (providing an income). 
  • To be attractive to a woman 15 years his junior, a man will generally need to have higher-value mating currencies such as : status ; wealth ; or fame.
  • To be attractive to a woman 20 years or more his junior, there is usually some psychological aspects in play on her part.  This is commonly referred to as a young woman's want for a Father-figure… an older wiser protector-provider to take care of her. However it's not a role that all men want to play... most still want to be regarded as a virile male in his prime.  But some are happy to be a Sugar Daddy (see Hugh Hefner below).


So keep that in mind next find yourself attracted to a beautiful young woman... especially if you're in your 40's or 50's (or older).  While you're naturally hard-wired to find her highly desirable (it's primal), she's naturally hard-wired to be attracted to young men of a similar age and social group.  Unless of course there are some psychological factors in play... and then it might be a different story!

But always maximize your attraction-factor with Alpha Styling anyway!

It's a Primal Thing.


Tuesday, April 26, 2016

This is an example of Simple, Strong & Functional

(Australian actor Chris Hemsworth)

The three basic principles of masculine dressing are :
  • dress simple - plain and practical
  • dress strong - dark and solid colours
  • dress functional - wear only what's necessary.
This is the authenticity characteristic of an Alpha personality, and it highlights the virtue of honesty. In short, what you see is what you get!

So if an Alpha is wearing a cap, it’s because he’s outside (not inside). And if he’s wearing runners, it’s because he’s on a run. And if he’s wearing work-out gear, it’s because he’s off to the gym.

In other words, he wears only what's necessary to get the job done, whatever that may be right now!



It's a Primal Thing.


Monday, April 25, 2016

The Primal Game - Enhancing Beauty and Sexuality


A few years back it was fashionable for young women to decorate their va-jay-jay with stick-on sparkly bits. It was called va-jazzling.

Not surprisingly though, it wasn’t fashionable for men. Why not? Because decoration is a feminine trait… not a masculine one. And most women use decoration in the form of fashion and fabrics, jewellery and make-up to enhance their beauty and sexuality in some way.

And that’s something to keep in mind next time your lady wants to buy you clothing that has a pretty pattern or a bright combination of colours. Put simply, a man doesn’t need to be decorated! 

In fact, to maximise his attraction-factor and prompt respect from other men, a man simply needs to dress in a masculine way. And that basically involves :
  • avoiding anything with excess decoration
  • wearing form-fitting clothes that highlight your masculine features
  • and basing your wardrobe on dark and solid colours, because they look the strongest.

And if you’re unsure about something you’re about to wear or buy, just ask yourself :

Does it look SimpleStrong & Functional


It's a Primal Thing.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Getting a Woman's Attention



Some time ago I watched Jerry Seinfeld doing a comedy sketch about the lengths men will go to in order to get a woman's attention.  I thought his words offered a profound insight into men's lack of appreciation for their natural attraction-factor.

Jerry started by acknowledging all the things that women go through in order to be attractive to men : wearing eye-catching fabrics and patterns ; doing their make-up ; the hair ; the nail-polish ; the shaving and the waxing.  But then he suggested that it's actually harder for men..... 


Why is it harder?  Because (according to Jerry) most men don't know what to do to be attractive to women... which is why they build bridges, climb mountains, and fly rockets to the moon.  And it's really really hard to do those things.... but we do them to try and impress women.

He finished by saying that when an astronaut comes back from space he'll go up to a beautiful woman, point up at the sky and ask with great pride "Well, did you see me up there?!!!" 


I laughed when I heard that, but it rang true... most men don't actually know how to make themselves attractive to women.  In fact most young men wear overly decorated (feminized) fashion... or they dress like lost little boys in long baggy-bum shorts and sneakers.  And somehow they think that's going to make them attractive to a mature woman who's looking for a sexy man.

Unfortunately, it seems that a lot of men these days have lost sight of our primal role in life.... which is to be a warrior-hunter... or to use a modern term, a protector-provider

Regardless of social trends, at a primal level men are expected to look and act like men... and that includes how you dress. The more a man exhibits masculine traits in the way he dresses, the more attractive he's going to be to women... and the more respect he's going to get from other men.

So what's a man (a real man) supposed to dress like?  Well he should exhibit the character traits that are valued in a protector-provider :
  • simple... practical
  • strong... capable
  • functional... effective
  • with obvious quality... high standards
  • and an understated elegance... an eye for detail.

I describe that set of masculine character traits as 'Alpha Styling', and you can start developing your own expression of it by dressing this way :  
  • take a minimalist approach (no big logos or wording)
  • highlight your best physical features (shoulders, chest, butt)
  • and use dark and solid colours as the foundation of your wardrobe.

And when it comes to selecting new items for your wardrobe... regardless of whether it's jeans, a watch, or sunglasses... ask yourself these five questions :
  • is it simple in its design?
  • does it look strong and masculine?
  • is it functional for what I need it for?
  • does it look like it's a quality piece?
  • is it understated (not overly flashy or fancy)?


    It's a Primal Thing.


    Saturday, April 9, 2016

    She's trying to Stand Out - He's trying to Fit-In

    (Actor Doug Anthony Hutchison and his wife)

    Firstly, it's important to understand that dressing like the man in this photo won’t make you attractive to a woman like that.  He’s a Hollywood actor with money and fame… and in her case that’s probably what initially made him attractive to her. In fact she married him - in spite of the large age difference.

    To understand why he would dress like that when he’s out in public, remember the primal values that influence the way we all dress :
    • to fit-in and be accepted by our social group
    • to stand out in some way that raises our social status
    • and to be sexually attractive to potential mates within the group.

    Men are more inclined to be influenced by values #1 and #2… while women are more inclined to be influenced by values #2 and #3.  That’s why she’s dressing to stand out, while he’s dressing to fit-in with all the other men on the street.


    So by dressing the way he does he's hoping to fit-in with what most men are wearing these days... while at the same time raising his social status by having her by his side.

    Or if you want to look at the relationship in even simpler terms, she's offering the primal currencies of youth, beauty and sexuality... and he's offering the primal currencies of money, fame and status. 


    But if you don’t have money and fame and you want to remain attractive to your partner, then what you have to do is trigger sexual attraction by sending primal signals about your masculinity.  And that can be done by :
    • taking a minimalist approach (no big logos or wording)
    • highlighting your best physical features (shoulders, chest, butt)
    • using dark and solid colours as the foundation of your wardrobe
    • and making sure that everything you wear is simplestrong and functional.

    Always keep in mind that the feminine approach to fashion is to use the concept of 'decoration' to enhance beauty and sexuality.  So when they dress a man they naturally tend to choose fabrics and colours that make him look more pretty than manly.

    So don't rely on your girlfriend, wife or mother to choose your clothes for you... not even as gifts!  


    Finally, when it comes to wanting to fit-in with your friends and co-workers to gain their acceptance and support, keep in mind that as much as they may like you, they don't really want you to be more attractive than they are, or to be more respected or successful than they are.

    In short, they're not going to be keen on anything that increases your status within the group. So they'll probably try to make fun of you, in the hope that you'll give up on your new way of dressing. 

    It's all part of our primal pack mentality. We humans have learnt to survive by hunting in packs, and living in packs (social groups).  And at a psychological level, groups have Alpha personalities, Beta personalities, and Gamma personalities. 

    The higher up that pecking order you are, the more status and privilege you'll have, and the more potential mates you'll attract.  And that's the last thing your friends and co-workers want for you

    So always wanting to fit-in by dressing the same as they do isn't actually going to help you in life. Given half a chance they'll do whatever they can to be more attractive, or more successful, or more respected than you. 

    You're better off being your own man, and developing your own expression of Alpha Styling. 


    It’s a Primal Thing.


    Monday, January 11, 2016

    What To Do When You Start To Disappear

    You might not know it yet, but there will probably come a time in your life when you will start to disappear. One day you’ll realise that women (and other men) just don’t notice you anymore.

    You’ll be old in a culture that values youth… your body won’t have the shape it had in your prime… and your style of dress will probably be out of date, or just plain boring.

    It happens to both men and women, and most people simply fade into the background. But not Harvey Keitel (on right in photo). He knows how to package his wisdom and experience… he just refreshes his attraction-factor with a contemporary expression of Alpha Styling.

    In the photo he's wearing fashionable glasses, a quality watch, an unusual bracelet, and clothes that are simple, strong and functional, with an obvious quality, and understated elegance.

    Those five characteristics are all Alpha Male features... and you can express them this way :

    •   take a minimalist approach (very little decoration)
    •   highlight your best physical features (shoulders, chest, butt)
    •   use dark and solid colours as the foundation of your wardrobe.

    Just look at the difference between Harvey and fellow actor Robert De Niro (on left), who looks like a boring old businessman.

    For insight into choosing a bracelet or jewellery that has an interesting back-story, click on this post from April 2015 :

    http://www.itsaprimalthing.com/2015/04/conversation-starters-and-back-stories.html



    It's a Primal Thing.