Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Primal Put-Downs - How to Handle them 'Alpha Style'

*Warning : This post contains some very strong language.

Introduction : In my last post I referred to psychological put-downs, which are commonly referred to as sh!t tests. Basically it's an attempt by someone to see how much sh!t they can put on you. It might be for reasons of status, or just to see how easy you are to push around. 

Sh!t tests are usually delivered as a joke... however if the person can get away with it, you can be sure that they will continue to put you down, or push you around, on a regular basis. 

Men often sh!t test other men in order to assert their dominance in the group. Women often do it to other women for the same reason… and they sometimes do it to men in order to test his strength of character, or to establish how much power (control) they can have over him. 

Short story : Here’s an example of how most men fail to recognise a sh!t test from a woman. It's about a senior martial arts student (a brown belt) who arrives at class a little earlier than usual. He puts his gear down, and starts to put his jacket and belt on.

Two female students of junior rank then arrive, and one of them says to him in a good natured way “Hey, your stuff is in my spot.”

He immediately apologised and began to move his gear. She giggled, and said “Don’t worry about it.” But he kept moving his bag and his gear.

The instructor immediately took the senior aside and commented jokingly “A girl gives you a smile and a simple sh!t test, and you fold (give in). I think I’ll have to take that brown belt off you, because you don't seem to be able to defend yourself.“

In his defence he replied “But I was just being polite.” 

She wasn’t.” the instructor said with a smile "It was a sh!t test to see if you would do what she told you to... and you did. Now she knows that she has the power to control you.”

At that point one of the older seniors chipped in and added “You’re really going to be in trouble when you get married… you haven’t got a clue what’s going on. Being super nice all the time doesn’t make you sexually attractive to women… it just puts a ring through your nose. You need to develop more of your Alpha potential.

The moral of that story is that it's not just about how you dress... it's also about how you walk and talk. So here's a brief summary of the state of mind of an Alpha personality (man or woman) :
  • they are someone who knows their direction in life - or at least their direction right now
  • they believe what they’re doing is worthwhile - which shows confidence and character
  • they’re aware of their strengths and weaknesses - so they're not looking for approval.

Personal Protection :  Here’s some guidance on being sh!t tested from Andy Taffs, who is an Australian-born comedian who lives and works in Norway (see photos) :

Nowhere is there more sh!t testing than in my line of work. If you think that your workplace is bad for sh!t tests - try Comedy.  Everything else pales in comparison.

For example, at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival I watched a Comic walk out on stage. All he said was “Good evening” ... but before he could say anything else some guy screamed out “Draw an outline on the ground.” 

You could see the Comic start to think about his response, but before he could say anything the heckler followed it up with ...”Because you’re already dead boring!

The room exploded into laughter. You could see the Comic begin to panic. Sweat beaded on his forehead. So he tried to use it and said – “Ok, so give me a subject, any subject, and I’ll make it funny.”

This is a novice mistake.... which was a surprise because the Comic was actually quite experienced… but he wasn’t ready for such a personal psychological attack.

The heckler continued – “Ok, here’s a subject - you being f*cked in the ass.”

The room exploded again, and the Comic was destroyed. He left the stage completely shattered.
It's important to keep in mind that sh!t test's can come at you any day, from any direction. I can tell you that from long experience. And if you show any fear, you're immediately beaten.

You need to respond to anyone sh!t testing you, or the attack will continue... not just now, but tomorrow too, and everyday that person sees you. 

But you need to seem spontaneous.  You don’t have time to think of a clever response. If you wait too long, then you've already lost.

In order to be spontaneous, you need to be relaxed, and ready to deal with an attack from any direction.  If you're calm, the response requires very little effort.  In fact a simple sarcastic giggle can often be absolutely devastating to the person trying to sh!t test you !

If you aren't naturally funny or spontaneous, then I suggest you try using a confident but condescending counter-attack. Here’s a few examples that you can memorise :

1)  In response just smile and say “Good doggy, Sit.”… which is a metaphoric put-down

2)  or smile and say to the others in the group “I just can’t take him/her anywhere.”

3)  or look directly at the person, smile and say “I should have left you in the trunk of my car.”

If you free your mind it's not hard to do....
expect that it's going to happen....
and try to have fun with it.

It's a Primal Thing.


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