Recently I saw an interesting documentary on the dating scene in China… and what struck me was how primal the process actually was.
Firstly, dating over there is not like it is in most western countries. In China it’s a process that directly precedes marriage… clear and simple. If a couple has been dating for a while, then they are considered to be on the path towards marriage. Here in the West it just means that they've been dating for a while.
In the documentary, when young Chinese women were asked what they were looking for in a man, they would often say “Love and romance.” However the women who were running the dating agency expressed a more primal point of view. They said that a potential husband must have the following traits :
- they must look manly
- they must have a good character
- and have a promising career (stable employment).
Interestingly, even though ‘career’ was last on the list, if a man didn’t look like earning reasonable money then he would not really be considered to be a good prospect for marriage.
It's a primal thing... if a man can't effectively perform his role as a protector-provider, then he's not going to be seriously considered as a life-long partner... in spite of how romantic he might be.
The owners of the agency also highlighted what was required from young women :
- they had to have a good face and figure (ie. the currencies of beauty and sexuality)
- they had to have pale skin (…which is also a currency of beauty in China)
- and a charming smile with good teeth (... another aspect of beauty).
When men were asked what they were wanting from the dating agency, most said they were looking to find a nice girl... eventually get married... then have children.
However when women were asked the same question, most said they wanted to get married and have children… and to do that they had to find a nice man who is a good protector-provider.
The overall plan is similar to what men want, but the order of what's important is quite different.... which is why the dating-mating process sometimes gets confusing for both men and women.
Overall, these comparisons of what men and women are looking for highlight the different currencies (values) that the sexes have when it comes to The Primal Game :
- female youth is a currency in an historical sense because in the past it was necessary to endure the physical challenges of surviving childbirth
- female health (being slim and fit) is a currency for the same reason… it’s a survival trait
- female beauty is a currency because humans value beautiful things… we favour anything beautiful, so beauty is also a survival trait.
Men on the other hand have a very different set of currencies that they are expected to offer :
- a good man doesn’t have to be attractive... but it’s nice if he’s handsome in some way
- he should have a strong character... which means he won’t leave, or harm his family
- and he has to be a good protector-provider too… which simply means that he earns enough money to look after his family.
So there you have it… a quick breakdown of The Primal Game that we (men and women) are all hard-wired to have. It’s just Nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species.
And that brings us to you. Regardless of whether you're married or single, now that you know a little more about how the opposite sex thinks (and why), you can maximise your attraction-factor by always dressing with your own expression of Alpha-styling:
- always highlight your best masculine features
- use dark or solid colours as the foundation of your wardrobe
- and make sure that every item you wear looks simple, strong, and functional.
It's a Primal Thing.