Monday, June 10, 2013

Men want to fit in - Women want to stand out

When it comes to Image Projection, the 3 primal values that influence the way we dress are:
  1. to fit-in and be accepted by our social group
  2. to be different and raise our status amongst the group
  3. to be sexually attractive to potential mates within the group.
Men tend to be most influenced by #1 and #2 (fitting-in with what the other guys are wearing, but being just a bit different)… while women seem most influenced by #2 and #3 (raising their status by highlighting their best sexual features… breasts, bum, legs, etc).

The thing to keep in mind about the way you dress is that your personal style has a lot to do with the people and events that influenced you as you grew up. But keep in mind is that you’re the only one who had that unique mix of experiences… so other people aren’t necessarily going to appreciate your style in the same way that you do.

I was at the local shopping centre with my wife recently, and I commented on a young couple who walked past.  She was wearing a very short dress that she obviously felt highlighted her best physical features (legs and bum)… and he was dressed like a little boy, complete with baggy-bum shorts, a baggy singlet, and a cap on sideways.

The ‘Lost Little Boy’ look is a popular trend for young men at present, so I can understand why he wanted to fit-in with the other young men in his social group.  But from the young woman’s point of view I was left wondering how she could possibly find that style of dress attractive in a man.

I said to my wife “I can see why he’s attracted to her… he wants sex, and a sexy looking girlfriend to raise his status amongst his friends.  But what could she possibly see in him?”

“A relationship!” my wife replied “...and she’s not going to jeopardize that by pointing out that he and his mates dress like little boys instead of virile young men.”

So you see it all comes down to different values between the sexes.  Men are hard-wired to want regular sex (the natural drive of testosterone)… and women are hard-wired to want a relationship… a long term commitment that assures the woman that the man is going to stick around and look after her and their children. 

It doesn’t matter that they’re not married (yet)… the hard-wiring is still in play.  She’s thinking ahead, long term… but he’s  usually just thinking ahead to the sex that might be happening tonight :)

All this is part of our primal programming – a set of behaviours that have ensured the survival of our species.  I call it The Primal Game, and I post regular insights on the Facebook page that supports this blog.

It’s been interesting to note that a growing number of women are also ‘following the Facebook page.  They’re interested in understanding the strange way that men think… just as men are interested in understanding the strange way that women think.

So regardless of whether you’re single or married, male or female, The Primal Game insights can help you understand the underlying psychology of the many relationships that you have in your life... with friends, with family, customers, and co-workers.

It's a Primal Thing. 

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