Monday, November 25, 2013

Be Careful when you Copy a Celebrity

When I first saw this photo of Robert Downey Jr, I thought it was a great combination of coat, shirt and tie. But then I realised that his confident nature (and the background colour) was actually enhancing what he was wearing. So I used my hand to cover his face... and suddenly his outfit wasn't so impressive. In fact I thought it looked rather ordinary. Try it yourself now.....

After doing that, it occurred to me that a lot of people (men and women) probably copy what their favourite celebrity is wearing, thinking that they will look impressive too... when in fact it's the celebrity's public image that goes a long way to making the outfit look better than it actually is.

In other words, people aren't going to see what you're wearing in the same way that you remember that outfit on one of your favourite celebrities. They can wear whatever they want, because even when they dress in something 'unusual' they still attract publicity.

You, on the other hand, might just end up looking a bit strange, or just plain ordinary !? 

Keep in mind that dressing like a particular celebrity will never make you as popular as they are... or as attractive... so be careful when you copy what they wear.

To make a positive impression it's more economical to just stick to the basics of Alpha styling :

Avoid excess decoration
Highlight your best physical features
Use dark and solid colours as your foundation.
Choose items that are simple, strong, and functional.

It's a Primal Thing.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Don't Take Your Sexy To Work

The dress parameters for men and women in the corporate sector are fundamentally the same :
simple, strong and functional, with an obvious quality, and an understated elegance.
It’s not about you expressing yourself with the way you dress… and it’s not about expressing your sexuality... it’s about expressing qualities that make the business appear professional. And you can express those five 'Alpha' qualities in your own way.
Click on this post for more insight into Alpha Styling for Women :
For men, click on to The Simplicity of Corporate Styling :
For an Alpha-style Interview for Young Women click on :
For an Alpha-style Interview for Young Men click on :
It's a Primal Thing. 

Friday, November 8, 2013

Simplicity - Elegance - Quality

In a recent television interview about her new range of underwear, Dita von Teese was asked what style of dress she found attractive on a man?  Her reply was : simplicity - elegance - quality!
To understand what that means, think George Clooney, Hugh Jackman... or even James Bond.
Dita's words are simply a description of an Alpha personality.  It's a way of dressing that's attractive to women... and it prompts respect from other men… so it’s beneficial in business and in personal relationships. To find out more about how it works, click on to this blog post :

It's a Primal Thing.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

A 'Base Line' for Judging Fashion Trends

"NEVER WEAR DEMIN-ON-DENIM" - said no woman EVER to any manly man! 
Wearing denim-on-denim (denim shirt or jacket with denim jeans) is a fashion trend that we should avoid... or so we're told. But there's no good reason why... and it's certainly not a trend that rodeo riders or cowboys pay any attention to.
We’re naturally attracted to fashion trends because we’re either : following what everyone else in our social group is wearing ; or we’re looking for an advantage that most other people haven’t picked up on (yet).
But fashion trends come and go. It’s what drives the fashion industry. And that’s why designers are constantly looking for new ideas. Any idea will do… even a re-hashed old idea can become the latest trend.
And that’s the pitfall of blindly following fashion trends… you can end being a FASHION VICTIM, simply because you followed a trend that made you look feminine, or like a lost little boy.
What men need is a BASE LINE that allows them to judge fashion trends… and here’s a simple one :  SIMPLE, STRONG & FUNCTIONAL = a MASCULINE look.
Those three words (simple, strong, functional) express desirable character traits in a man. And when everything you wear expresses those traits, you make a subtle yet powerful statement about your masculinity :
  • so avoid clothes with excess decoration
  • ensure the fit highlights your best features
  • use dark and solid colours as your foundation.

It’s a Primal Thing.

Friday, June 21, 2013

The Combined Effect of Alpha Styling

Like most designers, Ralph Lauren (above) and Georgio Armani (below) don't necessarily wear the striking fashion trends they present on the runways of Paris and Milan. In fact they usually
dress in their own expression of Alpha Styling : simple, strong, and functional...
with an obvious quality... and an understated elegance.

The point to keep in mind here is that the subtle impact of Alpha Styling is created when you combine a number of items that may seem plain, but together they make an
impressive psychological statement.
Even Scott Schuman (The Satorialist) dresses in a way that's distinctly masculine... which is
often in stark contrast to the unique and unusual fashion statements he photographs.

To create your own personal expression of Alpha Styling :
Avoid clothes with excess decoration
Highlight your best physical features
Use dark and solid colours as your base.
It's a Primal Thing.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Men want to fit in - Women want to stand out

When it comes to Image Projection, the 3 primal values that influence the way we dress are:
  1. to fit-in and be accepted by our social group
  2. to be different and raise our status amongst the group
  3. to be sexually attractive to potential mates within the group.
Men tend to be most influenced by #1 and #2 (fitting-in with what the other guys are wearing, but being just a bit different)… while women seem most influenced by #2 and #3 (raising their status by highlighting their best sexual features… breasts, bum, legs, etc).

The thing to keep in mind about the way you dress is that your personal style has a lot to do with the people and events that influenced you as you grew up. But keep in mind is that you’re the only one who had that unique mix of experiences… so other people aren’t necessarily going to appreciate your style in the same way that you do.

I was at the local shopping centre with my wife recently, and I commented on a young couple who walked past.  She was wearing a very short dress that she obviously felt highlighted her best physical features (legs and bum)… and he was dressed like a little boy, complete with baggy-bum shorts, a baggy singlet, and a cap on sideways.

The ‘Lost Little Boy’ look is a popular trend for young men at present, so I can understand why he wanted to fit-in with the other young men in his social group.  But from the young woman’s point of view I was left wondering how she could possibly find that style of dress attractive in a man.

I said to my wife “I can see why he’s attracted to her… he wants sex, and a sexy looking girlfriend to raise his status amongst his friends.  But what could she possibly see in him?”

“A relationship!” my wife replied “...and she’s not going to jeopardize that by pointing out that he and his mates dress like little boys instead of virile young men.”

So you see it all comes down to different values between the sexes.  Men are hard-wired to want regular sex (the natural drive of testosterone)… and women are hard-wired to want a relationship… a long term commitment that assures the woman that the man is going to stick around and look after her and their children. 

It doesn’t matter that they’re not married (yet)… the hard-wiring is still in play.  She’s thinking ahead, long term… but he’s  usually just thinking ahead to the sex that might be happening tonight :)

All this is part of our primal programming – a set of behaviours that have ensured the survival of our species.  I call it The Primal Game, and I post regular insights on the Facebook page that supports this blog.

It’s been interesting to note that a growing number of women are also ‘following the Facebook page.  They’re interested in understanding the strange way that men think… just as men are interested in understanding the strange way that women think.

So regardless of whether you’re single or married, male or female, The Primal Game insights can help you understand the underlying psychology of the many relationships that you have in your life... with friends, with family, customers, and co-workers.

It's a Primal Thing. 

The Primal Game : The Strategy of Image Projection

Photo from 'The Last African Warriors' by Gianni Giansanti
When I first came across this photo of a Mursi warrior I looked at it through the 3 Primal Values that influence the way we dress :
  1. to fit in and be accepted by our social group (tribe)
  2. to be different and raise our status amongst that group
  3. to be sexually attractive to potential mates within the group.
From that perspective I saw was that :
  • he’s wearing Mursi facial decoration in order to be accepted
  • but to raise his status he’s wearing the tusk of a dangerous animal 
  • and no doubt that’s a very hot look amongst the young women of his tribe.

I’m sure you’ll agree it’s a very striking photo… but that particular look just wouldn’t have the same affect in our everyday life. So my question is this... how would you describe the way you dress at work, or socially?  Just finish the following statements in your mind :
  1. I fit-in to my particular group by wearing ............
  2. I strive to be different and raise my status by ….........
  3. and to be sexually attractive to potential mates (or my partner) I ............

The answers (or any uncertainty) can be very enlightening,
and highlight how you can easily lift your game!

It’s a Primal Thing.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

How Women See Men’s Swimwear

Summer is coming for all the readers in the Northern Hemisphere, so here's a collection of insights from the ‘It's a Primal Thing’ Facebook page :

In regard to wearing Speedos, if a woman likes the look of you – your physique, your face – then she’s usually happy to see as much of you as she can. But if she isn’t attracted to you, then she won’t want to see all the finer (masculine) details that wearing a pair of Speedos has to offer.

Euro Trunks and short Classic Trunks (see photo above) are certainly options worth considering. They aren’t as ‘in-ya-face’ as Speedos, but they still expose the legs and highlight the butt… which is exactly what most men find attractive about women’s swimwear.

Most women put a lot of thought into the swimwear they buy... the fit, the colour, the pattern, all have to be considered. It’s a very important process because the garment has to make her look attractive, and highlight her best physical features.
However men don’t always appreciate the selection process. In fact they can often look past the garment and focus on the features being highlighted. And that can lead to statements like “Bikini? What new bikini? Oh I see. Yes it’s very nice darling.”

Men on the other hand have a very different selection process. They tend to be influenced by what the other men in their social group are wearing… which can sometimes lead to them looking less attractive than they could be.

Unfortunately you won’t find many women who say “Oh look, my man is wearing the same ridiculously long baggy board shorts that every other guy on the beach is wearing. Whoopee!"

So remember - when most women see an attractive guy wearing long brightly coloured board shorts, they don't focus on the shorts. First they'll look at his chest, shoulders and arms... then his face... then they'll probably think to themselves "Those damn baggy shorts are stopping me from getting a good look at his legs and his butt."

It's a Primal Thing.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Star Trek Alpha

I recently gave a talk on the concept of Image Projection - which is a term to describe the way we present ourselves at work, at home, and socially. 

As part of that talk I highlighted that it’s common these days for people to think that the rest of the world should simply accept them for who they are… regardless of how they might look or dress. And I added that although it’s a very noble aspiration  – like a Directive from  Star Fleet – it’s not actually what happens in everyday life.

We [humans] have been living in tribes for hundreds of thousands of years... and civilisation as we know it is only around ten thousand years old… which makes the idea of being accepted for who you are, regardless of how you look or dress, about ten minutes old.

So it’s not surprising that on an unconscious level we still have tribal instincts… and as such we’re often fearful of strangers… especially those people from other tribes who dress in a way we don’t understand.

I was thinking about that behaviour the other day, and I just happened to catch an old episode of Star Trek Voyager on tv.  What immediately struck me was that all the Officers were dressed in Alpha Style clothing… well-fitted uniforms, in strong solid colours, and with no excess decoration.

The look was simple, strong and functional, with an obvious quality, and an understated elegance.

But then I saw Neelix (above)… who is the cook on Voyager.  He’s a really nice guy - everybody’s friend. But he’s obviously not an Alpha personality... you can tell that by the way he’s dressed.

In the photo above he’s wearing a coat that looks like it was made from from a lounge chair. And in the photo below that he’s wearing a coat that looks like it was made from a tablecloth.

Both garments have very nice patterns and colours... but they don't say 'strength and confidence'. And they're not something the rest of the crew would ever consider wearing, because it just wouldn’t create the same sense of authority.

So the point to understand is that examples of Alpha Styling are everywhere, even in outer space. 

Finally, I think it’s also important to note that Alpha females with a high sexual currency like  
Seven-of-Nine (above) are not attracted to ‘super nice guys’ like Neelix.
To her (in Borg terms) "They are irrelevant!"  Why?  Because sexual attraction has nothing to do with 'niceness'... it's a hard-wired primal response.  If you send the right 'Alpha' signals with the way you dress, your body language, and what you say... then you will trigger an attraction response.

It's a Primal Thing.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Developing Your Own Expression of Alpha Styling

I recently had the opportunity to talk to a group of martial artists (in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s) about the benefits of applying 'Alpha Styling' to their everyday life. Their feedback was both frank and honest, and highlighted that although they could all imagine themselves applying combat tactics in a street confrontation, many struggled to imagine themselves applying the psychological tactics of Alpha Styling in a work situation. 

From further discussion, it all seemed to come down to the concept of 'Self Image'.

When they imagined themselves applying combat tactics, it was as the man they are now. But when they imagined themselves applying the psychological tactics of Alpha Styling, it was as a different version of themselves.

And it didn’t matter if they were a tradesman, a manager, or a company director… to some extent everyone struggled with the limiting factors of their upbringing… unconscious perceptions and beliefs about themselves that determined how they saw themselves... and consequently how they should dress.

Some men couldn't easilly imagine themselves dressed as a more confident and stylish version of themselves. And that's quite common.

The interesting point is that the way we dress is actually in a natural state of gradual change. The way we dress now is different from the way we dressed when we were 15. And by the time we’re 75 we’ll be dressing in a different way again.

In fact, by that age many men will think that gray and beige are respectable fashion colours… that elastic-waisted pants are a very good idea… and that wearing your slippers to the shop is a perfectly reasonable thing to do :)
So if we acknowledge the fact that how we dress is in a state of gradual change, then it makes sense to take charge of that change and direct it in a positive direction… a direction that helps achieve what we want to achieve in life... a direction that can help our career.... prompt greater respect from other men, and maximise our attraction factor to the women in our lives.

I understand that it can all seem a bit daunting at first… Where do I start?... How do I start?... How much will it cost? 

But all you have to do is start thinking about the concept of gradually tweaking the way you dress. You might start with your shirts this month… then move on to pants or shoes next month…. then your watch, and sunglasses.

It doesn’t matter where you start, or how long it takes. If you’re going to spend money on clothes (and we all do), then you may as well invest in a style of dress that has a tactical advantage. 
And because Alpha Styling is timeless and universally accepted, it never goes out of fashion!

It's a Primal Thing.

Friday, January 11, 2013

How Manly Men Dress - and Why

Most men don't realise that women often overlook the bad fashion choices that 
their man makes... especially when he dresses in a way that looks 
boring, or like a little boy, or just too feminine.
But women generally don't say anything because they don't want to
upset their man, and risk damaging the relationship.
Oblivious to this, most men are more concerned about what their friends and co-workers
think about the way they dress... without realising that many of them don't
actually want you to dress in a way that raises your social standing.
The following four posts highlight how manly men dress to maximise
their primal attraction-factor... both at home and at work.
Manly men play a Primal Game that goes beyond fashion trends - click on this link :

Manly men know that looking Nice is a Non-Event - click on this link :

Real Men don't do Cute - click on this link :

It's a Primal Thing.