Friday, October 19, 2012

It's a Primal Game... always has been!

If we look at the entire history of the human race, civilisation as we know has only been around for a relatively short time.  And consequently, the male role of warrior-hunter has been around for a lot longer than the more recent role of provider-supporter

And here's the kicker. It doesn't matter whether you like that fact or not. Our brains are hard-wired to play a very primal game.  And the focus of that game is to ensure the survival of our species!

It could be said that the human condition as we know it is divided into 2 aspects : male and female. They are opposites in many ways - so they don't always understand each other's point of view - but together they express the overall nature of the human psyche.

At the very core of our behaviour is a primal drive to find a mate, and procreate.  And to ensure the best possible chance for the survival of our children, we are hard-wired to find the best possible mate.

For men, in the past this would have meant finding a young, healthy and beautiful woman who can physically endure the challenges of pregnancy and childbirth.  

Why does she have to be beautiful?  Well she doesn't have to be, but beauty is a survival trait for human beings.... and something we associate more with women than with men.

We love beautiful things.  We love the pleasure we get from looking at them.  And so children who are considered to be beautiful will often receive protection and preferencial treatment from other members of the tribe (or social group).  

For women, a man's physical beauty has never been as important as his ability to be an effective warrior-hunter.  Or to put it in a more modern term : a protector-provider.

A man's primal role is to provide for his family, and protect his family.  And in doing so he gets to pass on his genes, and plays his part in ensuring the survival of the species.

From a woman's perspective, she will instinctively look for a protector-provider to help keep her children safe and healthy.  And that's a long term commitment, so she'll be looking for a mate who's going to stick around for the long haul.

And here's the next kicker - it's nothing personal. Our primal nature is just nature's way of ensuring the survival of our species.  And if you can accept that, then perhaps you won't take it so personally when someone you desire actually chooses someone else. 

Keep in mind that it isn't always about being rich (for men), or beautiful (for women).  It's about primal wants and needs.  Maybe you fulfil those in the person you desire, and maybe you don't... but it's nothing personal. 

At a primal level, both men and women are hard-wired to try and attract the best possible mate they can... the one with the most survival traits... and a compatible body chemistry.

On top of that of course are layered the values and beliefs of our particular tribe (our society). 

Sometimes those values and beliefs harmonise with our primal wants and needs... and sometimes they try to stifle them.  But either way, our primal processes are much older than any society, and are constantly in play (at a subconscious level), every minute of every day. 

So how can we work with that insight to create an advantage for ourselves in life... to attract a mate... or to raise our status within our profession or social group?

Well regardless of whether you're a man or a woman, I recommend that you raise your social standing by developing your natural 'Alpha' potential.  It's something we all have, although it may be suppressed in some small or large way by negative beliefs that you're either not good enough, or don't deserve it.

Unfortunately, as you take steps in this direction, don't be surprised if some of your friends or family aren't very supportive of your quest to develop your natural potential.  Why not?  Because you will upsetting the status quo (the existing pecking order within the group).

Everyone has 'pecking orders' in their life... at work, at home, at the sports club... and any personal development on your part is going to throw a spanner into some of those pecking orders. 

So stay true to yourself.  You have a lot to gain, and nothing to lose.  Remember that an Alpha personality is respected and admired because they have a positive influence on others.  And they are recognised by the way they dress - by the words they speak - and by their actions.

In every way they display a confidence and a capability.  They know where they're going in life, even if it's just achieving a short term goal. They're aware of what's going on around them. They're virtuous, and have an obvious strength of character.  And they understand the game!

It's a Primal Thing.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Walk the Walk - the body language of an Alpha personality

Hiroyuki Sanada (photo above) is a Japanese martial artist, swordsman, and actor.  You may have seen him in movies such as Last Samurai, Twilight Samurai, or 47 Ronin.

But the reason I'm bringing him to your attention is because his skill with a Japanese sword offers some of the best examples of Alpha body language.

What is Alpha body language?  Well it's the way an Alpha personality walks and talks... and it's all an expression of their attitude to life.

What's their Alpha attitude?  Well for a start, an Alpha personality (male or female) has a strong sense of who they are, and where they're going.  They understand the game - or at least the game going on around them - and that knowledge gives them a calm and aware state of mind.

They walk with a relaxed balance - never tense. Their shoulders are rolled back in a way that expresses a gentle pride in who they are.  Overall they demonstrate self-control and a calm focus... but they're ready to take action in an instant.

This is why I often recommend that security and military personnel undertake some form of Japanese swordcraft... even if it's just for a short time. 

In fact it's something that can benefit everyone - both men and women.  Let me explain why.....

The postures and techniques make you repeatedly express an Alpha attitude to life.  And that experience strengthens your ability to Walk the Walk.... which is going to have a subtle but profound effect on everyone you come in contact with.

Even the ceremony of sword-craft is a way of practicing an Alpha personality's calm mental focus. 

Most people (including many martial artists) don't fully understand this kind of ceremony.  They usually think it's just a quaint little bow of respect... something you have to do before and after you practice a technique with someone.

But it's actually much more than that.  It's an exercise in adopting a state of mind that will give you the best chance to handle a daunting confrontation.

To understand this you must first understand that any emotional extreme (fear, anger, sadness) will distort how you see a situation... and that's going to distort how you respond. 

In short, any emotion that's experienced in the extreme will affect what you do and what you say.  For example, you could end up being frozen with fear, or blind with rage.

Warriors understand that this lack of emotional control is a dangerous thing... so they train to control themselves... they train to retain a state of mind that is non-emotional

The Japanese call this Mushin, which translates as meaning 'No Mind' - no thought, no emotion.

So when a swordsman bows to his opponent, they are actually switching off how they personally feel at that moment, and adopting a Mushin state of mind.  And they strive to retain that state until the confontation has finished.

Many Alpha personalities have a natural ability to control their emotions. It's something that people used to call 'being cool'... because it seemed like they were cold as ice when they dealt with a problem. 

In other words, nothing seems to phase them - because they can control their emotions! 

You can still see that kind of 'cool' in movies today - expressed by heroes played by the likes of Daniel Craig (James Bond), Liam Neeson (Taken), and of course Hiroyuki Sanada (below).  
To watch a clip from The Last Samurai that demonstrates what a cool Mushin state looks like and moves like, click on this link : *(2mins 17secs)
It's a Primal Thing.