Saturday, December 31, 2011

Maximise your Masculinity *(more on swim wear)


Some time ago I was on the beach with my family, when a man around 40 years of age walked along the sand with his partner.  He was stocky, in good physical condition, and not wearing a shirt.

But what caught my eye was his long multi-coloured board shorts. They were very baggy, very bright, and went down below his kness.

We (humans) are hard-wired to notice bright colours. It's part of our natural survival instinct... the ability to spot bright flashes of colour that might be an animal stalking us from the bushes. 

In fact that's why a lot of people like to wear bright colours - they want to be noticed. 


But that tactic only works if what you look like actually holds people's attention.

If you look different or unusual, they might keep looking at you for a minute.  If you're attractive in some way (preferably in a primal way), then they'll definitely keep watching you. But if you're neither of those, then they will quickly turn away.

So bright colours can be an 'attraction factor'... but if there's nothing impressive to hold people's attention, they'll just look elsewhere. And all this happens within just one or two seconds. 


I've always thought it was interesting that women instinctively know not to cover up their feminine features too much... even if they're surfing.

Men on the other hand, are often more inclined to follow what other men are wearing.... even if it makes them look less manly.

This is because of the first (and strongest) of the three primal values that influence how we dress :

1)  to fit-in and be accepted by the group
2)  to be different and raise our status amongst the group
3)  to be sexually attractive to potential mates within the group.

But getting back to the guy I saw on the beach, he didn't need to wear brightly coloured board shorts to be noticed. He was in his physical prime. His shoulders, arms and torso were muscular... and his thighs were probably muscular too, but you couldn't see them.

In fact, because he was standing in soft sand, you could only see about ten inches of his calves. So his board shorts actually cut his 'masculine features' in half... because they covered most of his lower body.

So any guy who looked at him was only going to have half the respect for him as a manly man. And any woman who looked at him was only going to find him half as attractive, simply because she couldn't see his muscular thighs and calves... and that includes his partner.

He would have been better off wearing speedos, or euro trunks, or just short shorts. But instead he was following the trend of wearing big bright boardshorts... even though he wasn't going surfing.


Finally, a word of advice about the on-going debate on whether women like to see men wearing speedos on the beach or not.

It basically all comes down to primal attraction : if a woman likes the look of you - your face, your physique, your manner - then she is usually happy to see as much of you as she can.

But if she isn't attracted to you (for whatever reason, don't take it personally), she doesn't want to see all the finer details that wearing a pair of speedos has to offer.

It's important to understand that the colourful V-shape of a pair of speedos draws attention to a man's 'bulge'... and a lot of women feel uncomfortable with that. 

However euro-trunks don't have that V-shape. And a dark colour provides an even greater degree of modesty, because the finer details can't be seen as easily. 


So regardless of fashion trends, keep in mind that women are naturally attracted to the image of a healthy male.... his shoulders, chest, legs, crotch, and butt. 

It's not a choice... they're hard-wired to find a powerful masculine physique attractive. The survival of the species depends on it. 

This photo of Daniel Craig is a good example of an Alpha male in his prime. His body shows that he is healthy and strong.... an experienced warrior-hunter... a successful protector-provider.

So whether you're on the beach, at a social function or at work, always strive to maximise as many masculine features as possible : your shoulders, chest, legs, crotch and/or butt.

It's a Primal Thing.


Sunday, December 18, 2011

Alpha Style Sunglasses


As this photo of actor Matt Damon highlights, an Alpha personality wears sunglasses that are :
  • simple, strong and functional
  • with an obvious quality
  • and an understated elegance.

But what does that mean exactly?  Well let me explain :
  • simple - a minimum of decoration
  • strong - in shape and colour, or both
  • functional - be the right kind of eyewear for what you're doing
  • quality - made from high-performance materials
  • elegance - not too thick or bulky, or trendy.
 
Regardless of what styles might be trendy for men right now, avoid sunglasses with extra large lenses. They are designed to create a sense of mystery..... which is actually a feminine trait.

Keep in mind that smaller lens give the impression of a more focused outlook.... which is a character trait that's admired in an Alpha personality.

 

Sports sunglasses are 'performance' eyewear, and best worn for sporting activities or in an environment that requires wrap-around characteristics... such as in the military.


In a business or social environment you will create a better impression if you wear sunglasses that complement the statement that your clothing is making. If you're wearing a suit, then avoid wearing sports sunglasses... and choose a classic style.

In summary : Regardless of what styles might be considered trendy for men right now.....
  • choose sunglasses that have small-to-medium size lenses  
  • with a minimum of decoration (no over-sized logos or branding) 
  • they should be the right kind of eyewear for what you're doing
  • be the best quality frames and lenses you can afford
  • and have an understated elegance... see George Clooney below :
 

It's a Primal Thing.
 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

The Ethics of an Alpha Personality

 
The photo above is of actor Stephen Lang from the televsion series Terra Nova... and I think it demonstrates a primal Alpha personality.  Everything about him, including his hair, beard, clothing and equipment is :
  • simple, strong and functional
  • with an obvious quality
  • and an understated elegance.
But at a deeper level an Alpha personality also has an honesty - an inherent truth.

You see Alpha personalities aren't pretentious... they don't pretend to be anything other than what they are. In other words, what you see is what you get.  How they look, and what they say and do all highlight that :

1)  this person knows their direction in life - or at least their direction right now
2)  they believe that what they're doing is worthwhile - and that makes them interesting
3)  they know their strengths and weaknesses - so they're not looking for anyone's approval.

So you won't see an Alpha personality wearing military clothing unless they actually are (or were) in the military.  You won't see them wearing cargo pants with lots of pockets unless they're going trekking.  You won't see them in a baseball shirt unless they're playing baseball.  And you won't see them wearing work-out gear and runners unless they're actually going for a run.

They wear what they need to wear to get the job done... whatever it might be... with no pretence.  And that's a character trait that people both admire and respect.

Finally, below is a shot of Stephen in a more natural pose... but again his style is very Alpha :
  • simple, strong, and functional
  • with an obvious quality
  • and an understanted elegance.
His t-shirt is a dark solid colour, and the fit complements his physique. His trousers are also a strong color and a good fit. And his python boots add an interesting twist to the overall look.

 
It's a Primal Thing.

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Value of Alpha Styling

 
Since I started writing about dressing in a way that triggers positive primal reactions in people I've spoken to a wide range of men - from various age groups - about how they felt about the concept. Their responses usually fall into one of 3 catagories :

1)   some men chose to ignore it because they think they don’t need it

2)   some have played with the concept a bit here and there

3)   while others have embraced it wholeheartedly.

All of these responses are understandable when you take ‘values’ into consideration. I’ll explain what that means…..

The word ‘values’ simply refers to how much we value something... and the three primal values that influence the way we dress are :

1)   to fit-in and be accepted by the group

2)   to be different and raise our status amongst the group

3)   to be sexually attractive to potential mates within the group.

That first value is incredibly strong. We humans are hard-wired to fit in with the group we belong to. So we tend to dress in a way that our group finds acceptable.

One example of this is men wearing bright baggy board-shorts at the beach. It’s common in countries such as Australia and America… but not as common in Europe, where short euro-trunks are still popular.

The second primal value usually involves wearing something that’s a bit different… something that makes us stand out in some way… which is why people (even men) follow fashion trends. They think (hope) that it’s going to help them be noticed.

And while a lot of fashion trends will certainly get you noticed… if the overall message of what you’re wearing is not a masculine one, then most of the people who notice you will lose interest and just turn away… simply because they think you’re strange, or weak, or too girlie.

This is the pitfall of blindly following fashion trends… and it’s something that even celebrities and sports stars fall victim to.

One example is men wearing large (feminine-style) sunglasses. And another is the ‘little boy’ look that comes from wearing long baggy shorts and big t-shirts.

But as I’ve already stated, that first primal value is incredibly strong.  So if a person of influence starts to wear some new or different fashion idea... then others of high status will often follow.

That elite following will create a trend, and give the idea a high value. And more and more people will start to follow that trend, so that they too can have the latest fashion advantage.

And then along comes Alpha-styling with its inherent primal attraction. But it’s a relatively unknown concept… and consequently it doesn't seems to have any great value (yet).

It exists… we see it on the street occasionally… and personal stylists obviously use it when they dress celebrities… but it’s a concept that’s not really understood by most men, nor by most women.

So what’s a guy to do?  Does he let go of a popular fashion trend that has an established value, because everyone is wearing it?  Or does he embrace a more primal way of being masculine?


On the one hand, most guys want to fit-in to their social group. But on the other hand they also want to be a bit different and raise their status amongst the group. And they definitely want to come across as being sexually attractive to potential mates within the group.

It’s all about survival of the species really : trying to pass on your genes (via mating) by first fitting-in to the group, then trying to raise your status by standing out in some attractive way.

So it’s no surprise then that some men have chosen to either : 

1)   ignore Alpha Styling because it doesn’t have a recognised value

2)   or played with it a bit, but not strayed too far from popular fashion

3)   or embraced it wholeheartedly, and had great success with it.

Alpha-styling works because it sends a primal message… a message that simply cannot be ignored because it’s hard-wired into our brains.

It’s a message of confidence and strength and virtue... and those qualities prompt respect from other men, and attraction from women (even in business).

So next time you get dressed to go to work or to a social function keep this in mind :

Following fashion trends just makes you ‘fashionable’… it doesn’t automatically make you attractive or impressive (as a man).

That's why I recommend that you always strive to dress in a way that prompts a positive primal response in people.


It's a primal thing!